"Our Women24 Survivor Challenge is over, and I find myself looking back, gleaning learnings.
"Firstly, reality TV is addictive. I didn't know this. From next week, I am going to have to replace my Sunday Survivor hour with Lost dvds in an effort to wean myself. Sad, but true.
"Also, I have learnt if you are going to run a challenge, you should have some sort of scoring/jury/reward system... lest your competitors get pissed with you. Both Adele and Anthea managed to watch every single episode and, as I didn't foresee this possibility, I have no mechanism for choosing between the two.
"Could you, please, readers? Just vote for Anthea or Adele in our comment box below and the person with the most votes will get the bottle of Intimately Beckham I that I cunningly secreted in my drawer many weeks ago. If you are struggling to choose based on the comments below, click back to their contributions to previous Survivor challenge columns.
"Thanks." Sam
"Well it's over. I can't believe I watched all the episodes. I can't believe I enjoyed it.
"I must say – it hasn't been a fantastic season. The challenges weren't brilliant and the show itself was only slightly better than the contrived Iburst ads that spurted out the generic taglines with the crudely inserted contestants' names. But the contestants themselves were controversial enough to keep me interested.
"I'm disappointed by Mzi's attempt to turn on Vanessa by making new schemes with Jacinda (by speaking Afrikaans nogal). But I loved it when Vanessa answered back.
"I must congratulate Jacinda on getting that far – she was a good competitor – but I revel in the fact that she didn't get the million. Nya ha haaaa! It just goes to show that conniving can get you far but it holds you back from getting all the way – unless you have Gareth on your team that is. How pitiful was he? I can't believe he voted to give Jacinda the million after what she did to him! Who wakes up one day after the experience he's had and thinks, 'Hmmm, the one that stabbed me in the back... yes! I think she deserves a million Rand!' No man! Catch a wake-up!
"I'm glad that at least Zayn woke up in time and became the swing vote. Yay Zayn!
"Congratulations to Vanessa. I must say – she really wanted it in the end there and she went after it. I'm impressed that she pulled in the way she did.
"After it's all over, I can't help but think about how I would act on a show like that, I muse on what Vanessa's really going to do with the money but most of all I'm left wondering what I did in that hour before I started watching Survivor and what I'm going to do with it now." Adele
"What an amazing show! I loved the outcome, well done Vanessa! I'm sooo glad she won.
"I know, I know, everybody wanted Mzi to win, but come on, did you see what he did in that challenge? That was super-sneaky, Mzi, and most uncool. If you missed it, he told Jacinda in Afrikaans that V wasn't interested in going further in the game and that she'd happily step down. When Jacinda said she wanted to hear it from V's mouth, Mzi then asked V if she wanted to do another challenge, and of course V said no. So when Jacinda said she wanted V to tell her she was stepping down, Mzi spoke to V in a language Jacinda couldn't understand and told V that Jacinda said she'd jump if V jumped. And the funny part is, when he turned to speak to V again, he fell off the beam and into the water. Game over. Muwhahahaha.
"And Zayn, sweet Zayn. Who would've thought you'd be that cute in real life? Love the hairdo, love the new look, love the new bod! You look fab Zayn, and giving the car to your folks, that’s really impressive. You scored a whole lot of brownie points there. Click here for my phone number.
"The rest of the contestants all look great, although many were rather quiet in the interview afterwards. The finale show could have been produced a whole lot better. We want gory interviews where we get behind the scenes footage showing what really happened. We want the drama, the fights, everything. The finale show is supposed to be a chance to get the truth about what happened on the island and they didn't give it to us.
"Anyway, hopefully they'll get it right next time. Yes, there's going to be a next time. Exciting stuff! Hopefully, there'll be better contestants, challenges, etc. next time. So until next time, I'm going to be spending my Sunday evenings out and about." Anthea
"I watched Survivor this week, I really did. The whole thing... from the beginning to the end. I even managed to stop myself from watching Prison Break AND therefore Wentworth Miller until AFTER seven o'clock. (Sam, if I don't deserve a prize for that comeback, then I don't know who does...)
"And just to top it all off, I even recognised Mark, Jude and that greasy guy with the cigarettes and the coffee beans... tell me why he didn't win again?
"Vanessa seemed nice enough, so did Jacinda, so after having only ever watched one other full episode, I wasn't majorly interested in who walked away with the million. Did we have a preference in the office?" Melanie
"'Ah, Mel? Who cares what you think? You were out, like 10 episodes ago." Sam
"Hallelujah! What a fantastic episode. I spent most of Sunday's episode jumping up and down with glee. Gareth's gone and I couldn't be happier. I was wondering whether anybody was going to realise who the real threat was.
"The funniest part of Sunday's tribal council was the fact that all of Rana's tribe members voted against each other. Jacinda voted for Gareth, Zayn voted for Jacinda and Gareth voted for his pal Zayn.
"I think it's rather fitting that the doctor got voted off, after he promised to never write Zayn's name down. Plus, did you see the smirks on Lezel and Brigitte's faces when Gareth's name was called? Ha! It's sweet revenge for those two, and frankly, after the way they voted Lezel out, I think that the remaining Rana members have a lot to be worried about, should either of them make it to the final two.
"Shame, Jacinda seemed very nervous when she saw Lezel, and we caught her casting a glance in Lezel's direction. She's probably hoping that Lezel still supports her... Jacinda, I don't think so!
"How horrid was Lezel's welcome at Dead Man's Island though? Geez, they couldn't make her feel any less wanted, especially Brigitte. Yoh, that was awful. I felt sooo sorry for her. And Brigitte, she of the bad one-liners, she should have just shutup. We had to hear 'Lezel is so far up my ass, I don't know how to get her out' and 'Lezel sticks to Mzi like shit to a woollen blanket'. Nice one, Brigitte, real lady-like. Plus, they're just really bad lines. But then again, when have we ever been challenged by Brigitte's intellectual prowess.
"Shame, but poor Zayne looked as though his world had collapsed when Gareth's flame was snuffed. Hehehe, maybe it's because he knows his number's up. His best friend and only ally left the tribe, I'm not sure who he's going to cosy up to next. I'm glad he won the car though, because I doubt he's going to win the game anyway. So well done Zayn. When the challenge started, I knew this was something he'd win, being a journalist there would have been no excuse.
"And my favourite, Mzi is back in the game. Yay! Three cheers for the fish-catcher. I'm so glad he's back, and I'm also very relieved that Brigitte didn't make it back into the game this time. It was great to see that immunity necklace around Mzi's neck, he better keep it there though. I can't think of any Survivor contestant more deserving of winning than Mzi. And next week's finale is going to be a cracker episode. I can't wait. See you then..." Anthea
"I taped Survivor on Sunday. I had to! I wasn't going to be home and I was NOT going to miss the return of Mzi.
"I actually screamed at the TV on Sunday – yes, I can see you all rolling your eyes, but I did. That has to be some kind of turning point.
"Yes, I screamed in elation when Lezel fell off the pole. I screamed out of spite when Brigitte fell off her pedestal. And I cheered when Mzi took immunity!
"So last night was especially different – not just because of all the screaming, but also because I watched Survivor after dark. It started just after the thunderstorm began in Cape Town on Sunday night. The theme song was accompanied by lightening but the best moment was when thunder heralded Mzi and Vanessa's entrance back onto Burba's beach. Awesome!
"I'm kinda sad and shocked to see Gareth go – although apparently not as shocked as Zayn (did you see his expression?). But I must say that it was a very smart decision. Also, Jacinda has been a very strong competitor – even though I don't like her tactics, I have to admire her game. Maybe Survivor hasn't been so bad for my morality after all.
"I have to admit – I can't wait to see the finale..." Adèle
"I think it is safe to say that Adèle and Anthea have been converted to hardcore reality TV watchers. The frightening bit? Me too. Not only that, but I had to spend a good half hour on Sunday consoling my seven-year-old son who kept saying "But Gareth's the best!" over and over again. Poor sausage. Gareth, I mean. And... I too am very excited about this weekend's Survivor finale.
"So. It seems Women24 was up to this challenge. Nothing is too long, too banal, or too broken by annoyingly 'on theme' ads to stand in the way of our slothful, voyeuristic opportunity to take cheap pot shots at people we don't know, whose antics have been heavily edited to make them look bad. Viva reality TV." Sam
"Well, the prospect of Mzi rejoining the game next week is exciting. Yes I said it – Mzi. I'd love to see him and Gareth slug it out for final position – although, after seeing both Jacinda and Lezel prostitute their friendship for Gareth's, we know that if it comes to a jury situation, all bets are on Gareth taking home the million.
"But Lezel was shameless hey? She really made all those sleazy lawyer jokes true. Did she know her scheming was going to be aired on nationally tv? – where she lives? Het sy geen skaamte nie?
"Because Lezel has taken the award for most disgraceful player this week – no you didn't miss anything, we created it today just for her – we'll give props to Jacinda, for giving Gareth at least a fairly worthy challenge for the immunity necklace.
"While watching this week, it occurred to me during the contestants' soppy 1 minute personal message (in which every mom said the same thing) that the final four included Lezel and Jacinda. What? How did this happen.
"I think that Survivor should combine with Idols. I love the idea that in SurvIdols, the audience gets to vote out Lezel and Jacinda... um I mean... any contestant that they dislike.
"What do you say, Anthea? Sam? Who would get your vote to stay and to go?" Adèle
"I don't know – Lezel's antics didn't bug me that much. Maybe that's because I used to be a lawyer myself, but seriously, what other option did she have? I just love the way that SA survivor cast-offs all know they are going before they even get to Tribal council. It is somehow very refreshing to watch Mark trying to make some tension out of a vote the result of which has just been openly discussed by the tribe members before it was taken.
"I love Adele's SurvIdols idea – brilliant! Imagine if they were told that from next week, the viewers get to choose who stays? Kak op die eiland, né?
"And another thing... if the girls get to shave their armpits, why couldn't Gareth shave his beard until he was off the island? There's clearly a razor about." Sam
"I was invited out for lunch on Sunday, and when I got there, I discovered that I had to prepare it as well. So after a gruelling 2 hours spent in the kitchen, I almost never made it to Survivor, but I managed. Ok, I know that sentence was pointless, but since I've added a personal story to each and every Survivor comment I've made, I figured I'd keep it going. Thanks for lunch Kurt.
"So back to the programme. Many people out there are probably singing "Ding dong the witch is gone", but I'm a little sad that Lezel's been voted out. She's a strong female and contender and I wouldn't have minded if she'd won. Yes Adèle, shoot me, I like Lezel and really hope she gets back in the game, along with Mzi. Gareth, Jacinda and Zayn irritate me, especially Zayn. Someone please tell me what Zayn has contributed to this show. I'm tired of hearing his bullsh*t arguments about honour and integrity and non-alliances. And if I have to see that gross butt-crack one more time...
"But not to worry, next week sees the Dead Man's Island castaways fighting for another place on the Survivor island. Frankly, I'd sooner cut my wrists than go back onto the island with that bunch of losers. Speaking of losers, hahahahaha, how phoney is Gareth! I couldn't stop laughing while he spoke to his girlfriend, it was just too funny. He reminded me of a schoolboy talking to his girlfriend over the phone, exchanging niceties, and not really talking about anything important. I thought it was a bit stiff. Anyway, maybe they don't do public displays of love.
"Ok, enough now. See you next week." Anthea
Anthea loses 50 points this week, through a small pot/kettle incident. Anthea has been dating the same guy for years and still can't bring herself to use the 'boyfriend' word, yet has the temerity to judge Gareth's ability to cosy up, via satellite, in front of thousands.
Shame on you, Anthea. Sam
That's cause he's not my boyfriend! And anyway, I'm not the one on TV here... Anthea
"Does it count that I heard Mark Bayly's voice from downstairs last night when I was watching Prison Break on the upstairs TV?" Melanie
No it doesn't. Leave it alone, Mel. Sam
"Readers, I failed.
"I didn't watch Survivor this week. I tried, I really tried... but I had 15 people for dinner, – many of whom were under 4 and screaming "Monsters Inc! Monsters Inc!". And if that wasn't challenging enough, a sprinkling of New Zealander husbands soon arrived and pounced on the remote, as there was some sort of test happening.
"I said come at 7pm!" I whined truculently at everyone, as they fought to retune my TV while fighting over the Flings. "You are early! I was WATCHING that! Gareth just shaved! This is IMPORTANT to me.
"The room hushed, as everyone (including 2-year-old Lucy) stared at me incredulously. You could hear a Fling drop. I still feel prickles of shame when I think about it." Sam
Just for the sheer shame Sam, you're still in the game. You have managed to survive your weakest moment yet. Anthea
Let's see how Adele and Anthea did...
"Since I saw the new US Survivor last week, I've been hankering to see the next episode. This week's installment of our home-grown version was very dry in comparison... and it was hard to suck anything comment-worthy out of it. Here goes though... the good and the evil.
"The evil: perhaps this is more than a little sadistic – but I loved the fact that they couldn't keep the fish they caught during their immunity challenge. Compared to the US version, they had things far too easy when they started. And then they managed to extinguish the island's only food provider so they shouldn't have gotten the fish because they voted Mzi off! Yes. Now suffer! Mu ha ha ha...
"The good... The tribes are back to Aguila versus Rhana... This has the promise of interesting viewing.
"I'm actually keen to see next week's episode. Up till now, it's been fairly predictable. But who will the Rhanians vote of next?" Adèle
With ten points for the eerie laugh, Adèle has regained her frontrunner position. Sam
"I had a really good day on Sunday. It was my Gran's 94th birthday party! How hectic is that? Happy birthday Ma! And then after the birthday tea, I made my way home and seated myself in front of the TV.
"Sigh.
"And so I watched another episode of Survivor SA. This is becoming tiring. I enjoyed Brigitte's commentary though. She told Mzi that Lezel, who happens to be a lawyer, is not very bright. Yes Brigitte, we're sure you're MUCH brighter than Lezel. Of all the stupid things you could possibly say. Someone give this chick a good shake.
"Yah, apparently Lezel was not that bright because she asked Brigitte once if their beach had more fish. Now, I can see the logic behind this question, because some parts of the ocean have more fish than others. Anyway, Brigitte then told Mzi how she replied sarcastically that there are fish all over the ocean, and that everybody around them at the time just laughed. Mmm, I wonder if they were laughing at Brigitte or Lezel? My guess is they were ripping Brigitte off, not the other way around.
"And it was also while watching Brigitte laugh about how stupid Lezel is, when I realised that two more people will be allowed back into the game quite soon, which means the show is going to be longer than I thought. Excuse me while I cry.
"I'm sorry, but can they at least try to make the show more exciting than it currently is? How about some punchy music? And better challenges, please! Catching fish does not a challenge make. And if Gareth wins immunity one more time, I'm going to flip.
"And I also realised that because Lezel and Jacinda are in control of this game, they're considered to be bitches. Now come on, if it had been two men in charge people would be saying how clever they were. This kind of sexism just makes me sick. Aaarrghh." Anthea
On second thoughts, Anthea redeems herself, despite a pointlessly personal paragraph up front... by being a damn side bitchier than Adele. Let's face it, that's what a Survivor-watching challenge is all about. 50 points, and possibly this freebie perfume that just arrived on my desk, to Anthea. Sam
(c) 2005 MWEB Blogspace. All rights reserved. Legal Notices | Contact Us | Safe Surfing