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Name: Jan Henning
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Police win war on crime as 10111 stops ringing

2009-11-20 12:27

The South African Police Service's Gauteng 10111 Centre was out of action this week. A spokesperson for the police said operators became aware that the line was not functioning at around midday when they tried to call out for a pizza and found no dial tone.

 

However he conceded that the lines may have been out of operation for several days before anybody picked up the fault.

Spokesperson, Wanton Shooter, acknowledged that there had been fewer calls than usual to the centre in the last couple of weeks.

"And by fewer calls, I mean none," he said.

Shooter said it had taken a while to isolate the problem because a number of options were considered before they realised that the fault lay with Telkom.

"With hindsight we can see that the default position of most South Africans - blaming Telkom - should have been our first conclusion, but you can't fault our people for seeking creative solutions.

"At first we thought we had won the war on crime and that there was nothing to report," he said.

"Then we decided that maybe people were too scared to call us, in case we arrived and shot them."

Shooter said speculation at the water cooler even saw some wild conspiracy theories being advanced. "One school of thought held that the criminals were seeking to assume the moral high ground over the police.

"You know, if police kill more people than criminals, then suddenly it's the gangsters that the public phone when they come across a roadblock or hear shots in the dark.," he said.

Meanwhile a spokesperson for Telkom, Bugsy Malope, said technicians were working around the clock in a bid to get the line up and running. "And we'll have the call-centre reconnected as soon as the bill is paid," he said.

For more satirical news visit www.hayibo.com

 



CAN YOU FIND THE GUY IN THE COFFEE BEANS?

Coffee Bean Man.jpg

This is bizarre - after you find the guy - it's so obvious.

 

Doctors have concluded that if you find the man in the coffee beans in 3 seconds, the right half of your brain is better developed than most people. If you find the man between 3 seconds and 1 minute, the right half of the brain is developed normally. If you find the man between 1 minute and 3 minutes, then the right half of your brain is functioning slowly and you need to eat more protein If you have not found the man after 3 minutes, the advice is to look for more of this type of exercise to make that part of the brain stronger!

And, yes, the man is really there!

 





OFFICIAL RECALL NOTICE CANCELLED

 

SUBJECT The Julius STAMP

 

Julius Stamp.jpg


The Reported Problem: Stamp Was Not Sticking To Envelopes.


Course of Action: The Premiers Office Allocated R1.5 Million To Test Stamp


FINDINGS

1. The stamp is in perfect order.
2. There is nothing wrong with the adhesive
3.
People are spitting on the wrong side.

 





Afrikaanse weergawe na die Engels

Jesus is the reason1.gif

Why try to be good if you are saved by grace?

 

If we are saved only by grace, through faith, on the grounds that Jesus Christ is our righteousness and we know  that we are redeemed by the blood of the Lamb of God  -  is there any reason why we should still be concerned with right and wrong?  If I know I go to heaven in spite of not being perfect and that I will not be perfect in this life, why strive for perfection and holiness and obedience to God? 

 

Let me share five reasons why.

 

1. We submit to Jesus because we acknowledge that he rules the world (Eph 1:22-23). He is in control of every thing.  Our future is not determined by chance or other human beings, but by God’s will.  There can be nothing more foolish than to ignore his will.  There can be no wiser choice than to seek his will.

 

2.  Jesus is the one who will judge the world (Acts 17:31).  On the last day nobody will escape God’s judgment.   He will hold us accountable for every action.   (1Cor 4:5). It will be based on truth and without prejudice. So even if we experience injustice, Christians entrust themselves to God’s perfect justice which will be fully made known on the last day (Rom 1:5-6; 12:19). We seek obedience to God’s Word in our lives, because nothing else makes sense and can be absolutely trusted.

 

3.  We obey God because he loves us.  (John 3:16). We love him because he first loved us, dying for our sins, so that we are forgiven and became reconciled with him.  There is no greater love than this ‘that a man lay down his life for his friends’. And that is exactly what Jesus did for us on the cross. Such love compels us to seek his will and to not disappoint him or bring his Name in disrepute by our choices.

 

4. We are called to live out our identity as God’s people. We have a calling and a mandate to proclaim God’s justice, righteousness and holiness.For you are a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God that you may sing the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light’ (1Pet 2:9). We are called to make a difference in God’s Name in this world and be the salt and the light that transform communities.  We are called to be an example of God’s Kingdom that is coming and to bear witness of its glory by the way we live. .

 

5.  We know that God knows better.  We seek to practice his wisdom and to live his life, because it brings true joy in our lives and in the lives of the people whose lives we have an influence on.  There is no greater joy than to love, worship and praise God and there is no higher quality of life than to bring into practice our gratefulness for his grace, his sacrifice, his victory and his forgiveness.  We want to be restored into the person God wants us to be, because that person is the truly happy and satisfied one. The person who I am in Christ is the man or woman with a purpose that goes beyond this life. (1Pet 1:11-12).

 

God’s forgiveness and his mercy give us the assurance and hope we need as people living in a crying, dying, lost world. We are committed to show the light of heaven on this dark earth and to show true joy to every empty vessel on its way to eternal death without God.   We live God’s will, as much as we are able to, in eager expectation of the perfect glory that will only be revealed when Jesus comes again.  (Tit 2:13).

 

May our Lord bless you with the wealth of his mercy and grace.

 

Love in Christ Jesus

 

Hoekom probeer om ‘n goeie mens te wees as jy uit genade gered word?

 

As ons uit genade, deur geloof gered word, op grond van die volmaakte offer van die Lam van God  -  is daar nog enge rede om daarna te streef om volkome binne God se wil te leef – veral as jy weet dat jy nie volmaaktheid op aarde kan bereik nie?

 

Kom ek gee jou 5 baie goeie redes waarom ons moet strewe na die wil van die Here vir ons lewe.

 

1.  Ons onderwerp ons aan Jesus want Hy is die hoogste Koning wat die wêreld regeer. (Ef 1:22-23). Hy beheer alles. Ons toekoms word nie deur mense nie, maar deur Hom bepaal. Daar is geen groter dwaasheid as om sy wil te ignoreer nie.  Daar is geen groter wysheid as sy wil nie!

 

2.  Jesus sal eendag oor almal oordeel.  (Hand 17:31).  God sal elkeen aanspreeklik hou vir alles wat hulle gedoen het. (1Kor 4:5). Dit sal gebeur op grond van sy heilige geregtigheid.  Selfs wanneer ons erge onregverdigheid en korrupsie sien en ervaar, weet ons dat God van elkeen rekenskap sal eis van wat hy of sy gedoen het.  Ons vertrou dus vir regverdigheid op God se volmaakte wil en oordeel wat eers op die laaste dag ten volle openbaar word. (Rom 1:5-6; 12:19). Ons soek gehoorsaamheid aan God se Woord in ons lewens want niks anders maak sin nie en niks anders kan ten volle vertrou word nie.

 

3.  Ons wil aan God gehoorsaam wees, omdat Hy ons liefhet. (Joh 3:16).  Ons het Hom lief omdat Hy ons eerste liefgehad het en vir ons sondes gesterf het sodat ons vergifnis en versoening met God kan ontvang.  Sulke liefde maak dit vir ons onmoontlik om nie vir Hom ook te wil liefhê en gelukkig maak nie. 

 

4.  Ons is geroep om ons identiteit as God se mense uit te leef. Ons het ‘n mandaat en roeping om sy geregtigheid, waarheid en integriteit met ons hele lewe te proklameer. (1Pet 2:9).  Ons is geroep om as die sout van die aarde en die lg van die wêreld  ‘n verskil in ons gemeenskappe te maak en so die omgewing waar ons leef en werk te verander. Ons moet lewende voorbeelde wees van God se Koninkryk wat aan die kom is en ons moet getuies wees van die heerlikheid daarvan deur die manier wat ons lewe.

 

5.  Ons weet God weet beter. Ons wil sy wysheid uitleef en sy lewe ervaar, want dit bring ware blydskap en geluk in ons lewens en die van die mense naaste aan ons. Daar bestaan geen groter vreugde nie as om God lief te hê, te dien en te aanbid nie en daar is nie beter lewenskwaliteit nie as om ons dankbaarheid vir sy genade uit te leef.  Ons wil herstel word tot die mens wat God wil hê ons moet wees, want werklike geluk lê daarin  om sy doel met ons lewe na te jaag. (1Pet 1:11-12).

 

God  se vergifnis en ontferming gee ons sekerheid en hoop as mense wat in ‘n sterwende, treurende, verlore wêreld leef. Ons is daaraan toegewy om die hemelse lig  op hierdie donker wêreld te laat skyn en die ewige lewe uit te leef tussen mense op pad na die ewige dood sonder God. Ons leef volgens die wil van die Here, so ver ons enigsins kan, in opgewonde afwagting van die volmaakte heerlikheid wat eers bekend sal wees as Jesus weer kom.  (Tit 2:13).

 

Mag ons Heer jou seën met die rykdom van sy ontferming en genade.

 

Liefde in Christus Jesus

 

 





Afrikaans net na die Engels.

 

How great and powerful is your God?

 

According to Rom 4: 17 he is “the God who gives life to the dead and calls things that are not, as though they were.”

 

Our God gave life to Jesus when he died on the cross.  Our God called everything that exists out of nothing. We agree with Rom 4: 21 that we are being fully persuaded that God has power to do what he had promised.”

 

Faith in a great, almighty God accomplishes a number of important things for a Christian.

 

1.  Faith teaches us. It grows us toward maturity. It builds us up and makes us stronger. As we exercise our faith, our faith grows.

 

2.  Faith also exalts God. It glorifies his greatness. By trusting in God we are visibly expressing our confidence in his majesty.

 

3.  Faith grasps the truth of God's word. Trusting in God brings us to the point where we are enlightened and fully persuaded of the Gospel truth in the Bible.

 

4.  Faith enables us. It gives us possession of God’s promises. Faith expects from our God everything that Jesus died for and was raised from the dead to give to God’s children!

 

I know that the greatness and power of my God fully and completely compensates for my weakness.  Because of the Lord, even my little faith will grow, will glorify God, will grasp God’s promises and will enable me to own his assurance of salvation! 

 

Bless the almighty God for granting life-giving faith to me.   Thanks be to God who called faith into my empty life that I too may be filled with the strength of the resurrection of Jesus!

Hallelujah!

 

My life has a glorious purpose!

God is not only the creator of all things, but all things have been made to reflect the glory of God. The Bible tells us that when God created the world, everything was good. He also commissioned Adam and Eve, as stewards of his creation, to look after and care for everything God has made and loves. God gave it to them to enjoy the beauty and majesty of what he has made.  God created the world for us to live in and get pleasure from, yet under God’s rule and in ways that bring only glory to him.

 

Psalm 8: 2- 8 takes it even further. God who is the creator of the wonderful universe has, most of all, you on his mind and cares for us even more than he cares for anything else he created. God has also given us, the human race, the highest place of honour and responsibility in his creation. Whilst the rest of creation serves God with complete obedience, it does so because it has no other choice. It was made to do so.  But we as humans serve the Lord, because we use our free will to choose to live only for the honour of his glorious majesty.

 

Ps 8: 3 – 8:  When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him? You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honour.

You made him ruler over the works of your hands; you put everything under his feet: all flocks and herds, and the beasts of the field, the birds of the air, and the fish of the sea, all that swim the paths of the seas.

 

God has created us, and our world, with a purpose. He loves our world. But the Lord loves us even more and gives purpose to our lives by gladly accepting our worship, praise, obedience and stewardship of everything that the he holds dear. 

 

God has not left us to ourselves to discover the purpose of our lives. We are reminded that our lives are valuable, because God himself commissions us and through his expectations of us, he gives value to our lives.

You are more valuable to God than the entire universe. God, who declares his divine glory in all of his creation, here tells us that we are more valuable than everything else he has made. That means that as men and women made in the image of God, we reflect his glory more than everything else in all his creation. And we reflect his glory, because, through faith, we know that he is our Creator, our Father, our Redeemer and our Comforter.

 

Our Creator God and Saviour have given our lives purpose, meaning and value.

We find this purpose by gladly submitting to our calling to only live to the glory of God.

Whatever we do.  Anywhere we go! Whatever the task is we are called to fulfil today.

It has meaning, because it reflects the glory, the majesty, the power, the holiness and mercy of our Lord!  And God invites us to enjoy all of this, because he takes care of us!

 

Enjoy the last few weeks of 2009!

 

May God’s blessings surround you each day!

 

Love in Christ Jesus

 

 

 


 

 

Hoe groot is jou God en hoeveel krag het Hy?

 

Volgens Rom 4: 17 is dit Hy  “wat die dode lewend maak en die dinge wat nie bestaan nie, roep asof hulle bestaan. (1953 vert.).”

 

Ons God het weer die lewe aan Jesus gegee toe Hy aan die kruis gesterf het. Hy roep alles wat bestaan uit niks nie.  Ons stem saam met Rom 4: 21 dat ons  “God mag het om te doen wat Hy beloof het”.

 

Geloof in ‘n groot, magtige God bereik lewensbelangrike dinge in die lewe van ‘n Christen. 

 

1.  Geloof onderrig ons. Dit bring ons tot volwassenheid. Dit bou ons op en maak ons sterker. Wanneer ons ons geloof gebruik, dan groei dit.

 

2.  Geloof verheerlik God. Dit eer sy grootheid. Deur op God te vertrou verklaar ons op ‘n sigbare wyse ons verwagtinge van sy wonderlike majesteit.

 

3.  Geloof verstaan die waarheid van God se woord. Deur op God te vertrou word ons verstand verlig sodat ons ten volle oortuig word van die waarheid van die Evangelie in die Bybel. 

 

4. Geloof bemagtig ons. Deur geloof besit ons die beloftes van God. Geloof verwag van God alles waarvoor Jesus gesterf het en waarvoor Hy uit die dood opgestaan het.

 

Ek weet dat die grootheid en almag van my God ten volle vergoed vir my menslike swakheid. Dit is as gevolg van die Here dat selfs my klein geloof kan groei, die Here kan verheerlik, God se beloftes kan verstaan en my kan verseker van verlossing.

 

Dank die almagtige God wat lewegewende geloof aan my geskenk het. Prys God wat geloof in my leë lewe tot stand gebring het, sodat ek ook met die opstandingskrag van Jesus gevul kan word.

 

Halleluja!

 

My lewe het ‘n wonderlike doel!

 

God is nie net die Skepper van alles nie, maar het alles geskape om sy heerlikheid te vertoon. Die Bybel vertel dat alles wat God gemaak het baie goed was. Hy het ook vir Adam en Eva as rentmeesters aangestel om alles te versorg en te bestuur wat God gemaak het en lief het. God het dit vir hulle gegee,  om die skoonheid en majesteit daarvan te geniet. God het hierdie wêreld vir ons gemaak, sodat ons dit onder sy hoë regering en volgens sy wil, sal geniet!

 

Psalm 8 neem hierdie waarheid selfs verder.  God wat alles gemaak het, het vir ons, mense, meer as enige iets anders in gedagte gehad toe Hy besluit het om die skepping daar te stel, en het ons meer lief as enige iets anders wat Hy gemaak het. God het ook vir ons, die mense, die hoogste plek van eer en verantwoordelikheid in die skepping gegee. Terwyl die res van die skepping God gehoorsaam dien, word dit gedoen omdat dit geen ander keuse het nie. Dit is alles geskape om aan God gehoorsaam te wees. Maar ons mense dien die Here omdat ons met ons vrye wil besluit om sy heerlike majesteit te vereer.

 

Ps 8: 3 – 8: As ek u hemel aanskou, die werk van u vingers, die maan en die sterre wat U toeberei het --  wat is die mens dat U aan hom dink, en die mensekind dat U hom besoek?  U het hom 'n weinig minder gemaak as 'n goddelike wese en hom met eer en heerlikheid gekroon.  U laat hom heers oor die werke van u hande; U het alles onder sy voete gestel:

skape en beeste, dié almal, en ook die diere van die veld, die voëls van die hemel en die visse van die see, wat trek deur die paaie van die see.

 

God het ons en ons wêreld met ‘n doel gemaak. Hy is lief vir ons wêreld, maar het ons nog liewer. Hy gee ‘n doel aan ons lewe deur graag ons aanbidding, lof, gehoorsaamheid en rentmeesterskap van alles wat vir Hom kosbaar is, te aanvaar.

 

God laat dit nie aan ons oor om die doel van ons lewens te vind nie. Ons word daaraan herinner dat ons lewens kosbaar is, omdat God ons aangestel het en sy hoë verwagtinge van ons,  gee waarde aan ons lewe.

 

Jy het vir die Here meer waarde as alles wat Hy gemaak het. God, wat sy goddelike heerlikheid deur die hele skepping verkondig, sê ook dat ons meer waarde het as al die ander goed wat Hy gemaak het. As mans en vroue wat na die beeld van God gemaak is, vertoon ons sy heerlikheid meer as enige iets anders in sy skepping. En ons maak sy heerlikheid bekend omdat ons, deur geloof, weet dat Hy ons Skepper, ons Vader, Verlosser en Trooster is.

 

Ons Skepper God en Redder gee ‘n doel, waarde en betekenis aan ons lewens.

Ons vind dié betekenis as ons ons nederig aan sy roeping en wil onderwerp om net tot sy eer te lewe.

Wat ons ook al doen. Waarheen ons ook gaan. Watter taak ons ook vandag verrig, dit het betekenis, want dit verkondig die heerlikheid, majesteit, krag, heiligheid en barmhartigheid van ons Heer.

En God nooi ons om dit alles baie te geniet, want Hy sorg vir ons.

 

Geniet die laaste paar weke van 2009!

 

Mag God se seën jou elke dag omvou!

 

Liefde in Christus Jesus

 





 

Boy Cry.jpg 

A seven-year old boy was at the center of a courtroom drama yesterday at the Pretoria High court when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible..

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to Bafana Bafana whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

 




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